The LAR Model of Listening and Empathy

"Most people do not listen with the intent to understand, they listen with the intent to reply", writes Stephen R Covey in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. What does this statement imply?

• Most people love to speak
• Only a few like to listen to others

This habit is a colossal barrier to effective communication as empathic listening is of paramount importance to effective communication. In the absence of a genuine effort to listen, communication becomes futile. Therefore, it is extremely important that you learn to listen to what is being said as well as what is not.

In this segment, Rakesh will acquaint you with some common practices that you must adopt to enhance your listening skills. He will also discuss some problems that may arise due to ineffective listening in the corporate world with the help of some relevant examples. So, let’s get started.

This video was certainly very helpful. Let’s quickly summarise the key learnings from the video: 

• Listening is an integral part of interpersonal collaboration and communication.
• Human beings are inherently designed to speak more than they listen.
• Remember that you must not interrupt anyone while they are speaking.
• Not listening and understanding others leads to unnecessary disagreements and conflicts.
• To become a better listener, you should always remember the following key points:
  • Resist the urge to speak and respond to someone while they are speaking. This sends out a message that you are not interested in listening to what the other person has to say. Also, it is unwise to jump to conclusions without knowing and listening to the entire conversation.
  • Analyse what is being said and respond accordingly. If you do not pay attention to what others speak, you will not be able to respond appropriately. Therefore, to enable effective communication, it is extremely important that you listen and understand others. By doing this, you will be able to assess the situation clearly, which will further allow you to give suitable advice.
  • Last but not the least, paraphrase what the other person said and respond accordingly and with some empathy. Take the discussion forward by listening to what the person has to say. You should also try to catch the non-verbal cues.
  • This is called the Listen-Analyse-Respond (LAR) framework.
• Empathetic and compassionate listening requires understanding more than what is being said.
• Analysing the root cause makes you more empathetic and helps you get your work done faster.
• Conflicts arise due to the lack of listening and understanding others. The LAR framework is the main ingredient for addressing conflict management.
• Practice listening with other people and ask open-ended questions in order to give them a sense of flexibility. 

The next session will cover some of the most important business etiquettes that will help you to leave an impeccable impression at the workplace. 

Additional Resources:

• Dying Art of Listening | Disha Oberoi
• Legendary Physicist David Bohm on the Paradox of Communication, the Crucial Difference Between Discussion and Dialogue, and What Is Keeping Us from Listening to One Another – Brain Pickings